An International Wedding

Last night we went to an international wedding at a fancy hotel. Marina, a Ukrainian girl from our Turkish class, married her Turkish boyfriend. It was great fun, since we were seated with classmates from our last class, whom we really enjoyed. Our teacher, Arzu (Turkish), Selma (Bosnian), Jasmine (Russian) and Karen (German) and their spouses were at our table. It was wonderful to see everyone again.

It was truly an international event. The couple was married while seated at a table with a government official in a red satin coat. She said “Da” and he said “Evet”, both meaning “yes,” of course. Then they signed papers and were officially married. There were both Turkish and Urkainian customs; the parents presented the couple with their first meal of bread and salt. Their table had both their flags on it. The first dance was an old American waltz (“Fascination Waltz”), and one of the first wildly popular dance sets was a medley of 1950s rock and roll—starting with “Rock Around the Clock” and ending with “Blue Suede Shoes.” Dancers loved it and ran to the floor. When the band played an especially rousing version of “House of the Rising Sun,” I turned to my German friend and said I knew the words to that song. “Everyone in the world knows that song,” my friend replied. Later there was Russian and Turkish music, and the dance floor was jammed with happy people dancing wildly.

Although there were elements of tradition at this wedding, it was not a traditional wedding, our Turkish friends told us, but a “rich” wedding. A traditional village wedding will last three or four days and include a drum and pipes and marching from one place to another. There will also be a night when the women henna the bride’s hands. This wedding could have been in the US, except for the table next to us filled with elderly women relatives of the groom, all of whom were completely covered and wore head scarves.

The traditional gift for any major occasion (like a wedding, a baby’s birth or a young boy’s circumcision) is a piece of gold. We purchased one from a jeweler with the help of our interpreter. It looks like a coin with a loop and ribbon on top, and in villages, guests pin it to the bride’s dress. When the bride wears a western-style fancy dress, she carries a little purse, and we put the gold coin in the purse. The groom also wore a sort of bandolier, to which his friends pinned gold pieces. Later, when the young couple needs to buy something big, they may cash in the gold pieces.

We feel very comfortable in this Muslim country where family ties are cherished and where social gatherings are wholesome and family-oriented. Many people do not drink alcohol, and it is never a problem to decline tea or coffee when we say it is a “religious rule.” The people are very warm and hospitable. We are so grateful for our dear friends who are making our experience here so wonderful.